


Determined

by lunarperigee (nilavu)



Category: ONEUS (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:07:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25537816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nilavu/pseuds/lunarperigee
Summary: Determined.Youngjo's heard the word a lot in his life.When his father had finally accepted his dream of becoming an idol, after fighting and arguing with him about what he wanted to do with his life, his father had looked at him and called him determined.When he failed to get into that agency even after auditioning over 50 times and still wanted to be an idol, his mother had looked at him with a mixture of sadness and pride and called him determined.When he dropped out of two companies, disillusioned with every passing year but still trying out for more auditions and looking desperately to be accepted, his trainee and idol friends had called him determined.He bitterly thinks that none of the determination everyone else says he has is any use.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 38





	Determined

Determined.

Youngjo's heard the word a lot in his life. 

When his father had finally accepted his dream of becoming an idol, after fighting and arguing with him about what he wanted to do with his life, his father had looked at him and called him determined.

When he failed to get into that agency even after auditioning over 50 times and still wanted to be an idol, his mother had looked at him with a mixture of sadness and pride and called him determined.

When he dropped out of two companies, disillusioned with every passing year but still trying out for more auditions and looking desperately to be accepted, his trainee and idol friends had called him determined.

Youngjo's not sure if he would use the word to describe himself, especially when he finds himself still lost in this world.

He got accepted into a good company, rather reputed and one of the big 3. He thinks it's ironic that he got accepted into all the big three companies and fervently hopes that this would be the last one. But he's still a trainee and he doesn't see himself debuting anytime soon.

He bitterly thinks that none of the determination everyone else says he has is any use.

* * *

When he meets Geonhak for the first time, they're both trainees. He's still young, younger than Youngjo and much shyer. 

Youngjo forms a bond with him rather quickly. They hang out in between practices and help each other prepare for their respective monthly evaluations. 

So of course, it's nothing new when Geonhak and Youngjo drop down to the floor exhausted after one particular dance practice at an ungodly hour. Looming monthly evaluations can make even the sleepiest trainee wide awake.

They've done this particular choreo before but it doesn't make it any less strenuous. So when Youngjo finally feels the weariness and fatigue settle in and thinks he might end up sleeping on the practice room floor, he gets up and offers his hand to Geonhak, who takes it gratefully.

It's also nothing new when Geonhak and Youngjo practice their raps together. Youngjo has only known Geonhak as a good rapper till now, so he's surprised when, at the end of their practice, Geonhak reluctantly shows him his singing.

Youngjo can only say that Geonhak's voice is nice because he can't find words to describe the healing quality of Geonhak's singing voice. He's still blown away by the contrast between Geonhak's rapping and his singing when he goes back to the dorm that night.

* * *

Youngjo still doesn't know what happened to Geonhak. He knows that Geonhak left the company shortly after he did and that it was because of people he trusted betraying him. Geonhak still hasn't told him what happened and he hasn't pried. 

It's not like he had time to pry anyway. Soon after he left, he had tried his best to get into another company (determined, his mother would call him again, looking worried). The latest one was RBW. It would be a lie to say he had no hopes of getting in but his age and track record for staying in a company wasn't exactly great.

By some sort of miracle or maybe by his mother's prayers, he gets in. Another chance for his dream to truly blossom. He just doesn't know if it will end up as a pretty flower or if it will be forced to wither away before it has a chance to bloom.

* * *

Life as a part of RBWBoyz is not exactly as Youngjo imagined. 

For one, they hold concerts and they go busking a lot, which is different from what he has experienced before. Two, there's already three boys in it. He knows these are not just any trainees. RBWBoyz are the next boy group - and he's a part of it. 

But Youngjo knows, especially after what happened last time, that that means nothing. He still walks on eggshells, too careful not to give himself false hope.

The other three boys are tight knit in such a way that they could be brothers. Youngjo finds it hard at first to insert himself into their group. There doesn't seem to be a space for him, at least not at first. They're all rather shy when they meet each other and that only makes things harder for Youngjo. He has to try and make a conscious effort to integrate himself into their group for at least the first week. Youngjo knows they're not doing it on purpose- they've added him to their group chat and makes sure to include him in all their conversations. But sometimes Youngjo doesn't know what to do when they talk about a prior incident involving just the three of them, before he came along.

Soon enough though, Keonhee seemingly takes the reins and talks his ear off about food, why he wanted to be a singer and nearly everything else under the sun. Hwanwoong follows Keonhee's suit and then so does Gunmin. Youngjo starts calling them all his babies in their group chat (they're still cringing, he knows) and then steps it up a notch by hugging them and being generally clingy. Although Keonhee and Hwanwoong freeze at first, they accept his hugs. Keonhee eventually returns his hugs while Hwanwoong just lets him be. Only one person refuses it altogether. 

Gunmin. 

For whatever reason, Gunmin puts an end to skinship as soon as it starts and even requests that he stop doing it. Youngjo isn't offended; he knows some people like their space but he notices that Gunmin maintains a distance with him that he doesn't with the others. Youngjo doesn't know what he did wrong, but can only hope that it gets better as time goes by.

* * *

It's only when the CEO mentions it that Youngjo realises that 4 is too short of a number for a boy group. They need at least two more, he says, preferably a rapper and a vocalist, and there will be auditions held to determine the new members. 

None of them are particularly surprised when the CEO tells them this and so, they resume practicing covers and taking their lessons as always. 

After one particular gruelling dance practice (thanks to Hwanwoong's perfectionism), they're all wiped out and lying on the floor. Once again, Youngjo feels the fatigue settle in and thinks about falling asleep right then and there. With some effort, he manages to get up. Hwanwoong and Keonhee are both sitting up, Keonhee leaning against the wall and Hwanwoong trying not to fall asleep while Gunmin is splayed out on the floor like a starfish. Youngjo smiles to himself at the state of their pitiful selves as he approaches Gunmin and stretches out a hand to him. Gunmin looks up at his hand and takes it, giving him a small smile. Youngjo smiles back.

It isn't until a few moments later that Youngjo remembers when the exact same scene has played out before.

* * *

Youngjo's finger hovers over the call button. He hasn't called him in a while. Last he heard, Geonhak had given up on being an idol. Youngjo's heart twists painfully at the thought. 

Would calling him be giving him false hope? Youngjo had no idea. He hoped it wouldn't hurt to try.

Geonhak refuses at first. Youngjo can't blame him but tries his best to persuade him. Geonhak asks for time. Youngjo can give him that, so he agrees.

The next time, Geonhak calls him. He tells Youngjo that it's for one last time.

* * *

Dongju comes to them before Geonhak does.

Youngjo had already known Dongmyeong for awhile when he finds out. He's surprised at first, as Dongju doesn't have any history of being a trainee. He doesn't quite know what to expect, so he settles for thinking that Dongju might be similar to Dongmyeong. As a result, he's even more surprised by the cute, shy boy that he meets. 

In many ways, he's reminded of Geonhak. 

Youngjo can see the potential in his quiet, soothing voice and his unsure steps in their first practice together. He has a long way to go, but Youngjo already knows that they'll all help their maknae on that journey together.

* * *

"I still don't like the way you eat your rice."

Youngjo glances at Gunmin -Seoho now- and sets his chopsticks aside rather forcefully. He's amused (and fond) but he won't admit it just now.

Geonhak, however, has had enough and looks at Seoho while continuing to eat. Youngjo never knows how he always manages to come between these two (but he doesn't mind, not really). 

As they continue to bicker, Youngjo can't help but look at them both fondly and thank the heavens for making him that bit more determined.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ONEUS fanfic. I hope you enjoyed it. Come scream with me over ONEUS on [twitter.](https://mobile.twitter.com/ikeonheek)


End file.
